NOTE: The following are no longer acceptable formats for one’s “clown name”
) A disease with the letter -O appended to the end
) A series of hoots known to enrage the local primate population, bestirring them from their usual peaceful fruit-eating
) A distinct whistle
) Whalesong
) A stranger’s social security number, purchased online with a cryptocurrency
) My name, even if prefixed with “The Amazing” or “The Astounding” and certainly not with “The Merely Adequate”