Category: Words Words Words

A dating site profile that tells you you’ve matched with A Quiet Stretch of Wooded Road Where A Bolt of Light From the Sky Stills Your Vehicle and a Warm Paralysis Covers You as the Clock Jumps Forward Two Hours.

Hobbies: “Science” lol

don’t wait ’til the last minute

to book your personal sacrifice

to the ineffable!

PLATINUM PACKAGE
For (1.5), you’ll be bound in silk, rowed out to mid-lake, regaled with musical poetry, then swallowed by the eternal being, The Damp at Bottom, at which point you’ll be reborn as a lake creature: a duck if you’re pure, or a croc if you’re too salty for the The Damp’s taste

[waiver.pdf]

[letter_to_surviving_relatives_FINAL.pdf]

[directdepositaccounts.lnk]

1) A Baby Storage Gel to protect your baby from gravity shifts at full thrust

2) A cool looking stick

3) Arcade tokens for the arcade that closed down decades ago but sometimes still lights up at night and the door is ajar, so…

4) The Duchy of Vinyardistelm, its ceremonial mace and a legion of foot soldiers

5) A Get-Out-of-Mommyhood-Free card (expired)

6) A issue of the X-Men where you’ve pasted baby heads over every Wolverine head

a few scattered notes for the world of Blades in the Dark

Silky’s – a drug den & flop house where patrons are welcome to ingest their preferred dream-inducing drugs and are then placed into thin, soft sleeping bags that are hoisted up to form hammocks and cocoons at various heights from the ceiling, thus fitting more dozing customers than the floor space might otherwise allow

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Deep Water – a drug den & flop house where patrons are treated to an exclusive experience: they take a drug that allows them to psychically merge with an enormous spark octopus that leaves in a submerged enclosure in the middle of the building. Those on “ceph” are treated to an hour of calm warmth, soft burbling, the swaying of their tentacles, and a deep thrumming of the spark octopuses thoughts. This spark octopus has plans, though. It’s picked up enough from the minds of dreamers to know that if he can get them to build it a Hull, it could become a major power in this stranger world above the waves, subsuming the will of its foes with psychic power, electrically amplified with leviathan blood.

1) Moon Bullets vs Moon Faces

2) Hand Holding Simulator [Regency Edition]

3) Panthor The Jungle Fist Learns the Alphabet

4) WWII Baked Goods Ration Party

5) Pill Gobble Ghost Fighter the Dating Sim

My mom won’t let me buy games, so I played all these with construction paper and they’re the best, don’t forget to like comment and donate to orphans.

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In Pill Gobble Ghost Fighter, you play a pill-gobbling ghost fighter who’s trying to put their ghost fighting life behind them, but the trauma involved makes dating difficulty. It’s hard to find common ground, and pills are a harsh mistress both physically and economically. So there’s a lot of stats to juggle:

AFFECTION
TERROR
SHARING
WITHDRAWAL

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In WWII Baked Goods Ration Party, the clock is ticking between bombing runs and you want to host the best bomb shelter party, but cooking supplies are tightly rationed.

It’s a point and click where you talk to all the people in the bomb shelter, run fetch quests, etc. to get them to surrender their stamp booklets so you can get eggs, flour, milk etc. and bake a cake.

In the final level you have to build a big enough cake to take out Hitler.

1. Blood on the Cobbles
2. Batwing Ladies and Their Interests
3. The Adventures of Electric Jack, Sparkboy Hero and Friend to Good, Grounded Children
4. Moors ‘n Fens ‘n Single Candles
5. The Butcher of Greenbarrow (by her own confession, with recipes)
6. Tales for the Well and Unwell

C’mon down to Mick’s House of Amulets where the amulets are practically giving themselves away!

Seriously, take an amulet. They’re great. They light up. You can talk to other amulet holders. They’re cheap.

All you have to do is sign a contract that says whatever the yellowed eye in the amulet’s heart sees can be transferred back to Amulet HQ and the Heart of Eyes for study. What’s a little studying going to hurt, eh?

Sign the contract.

feeling your way down the stairs by touch, clinging to the railing, to find the amazon box by the building’s mailboxes that has your new eyes in it keyed to your dna, shipped in a cooler, and with any luck they remembered to include the installation plunger this time

On December 17, 2018, our Community Guidelines will change and masks will become mandatory. You’re welcome to decorate them as you see fit in whatever color scheme speaks to you, so long as your disgusting nostrils are covered. The world of scents is a fallen world and this Community sees no need to indulge in the illusion that said world holds any value. Smooth features and eye holes forever, that’s our future here. Masks on, and see you soon!

1 – a second mouth made of even more bones
2 – a collectible figurine of a capering rat
3 – a six-sided die (convenient!)
4 – a scarab beetle that can whistle
5 – a door to a magical realm where hills are made of candy but you gotta be skeleton mouth-size to go through, sorry pal
6 – germs, don’t go touchin’ skeleton mouths, din’t your momma teach you anything?