don’t wait ’til the last minute
to book your personal sacrifice
to the ineffable!
PLATINUM PACKAGE
For (1.5), you’ll be bound in silk, rowed out to mid-lake, regaled with musical poetry, then swallowed by the eternal being, The Damp at Bottom, at which point you’ll be reborn as a lake creature: a duck if you’re pure, or a croc if you’re too salty for the The Damp’s taste
[waiver.pdf]
[letter_to_surviving_relatives_FINAL.pdf]
[directdepositaccounts.lnk]