RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
1) You must venture into the dark woods, unarmed.
2) Gather a pile of stiff dry leaves and shape them into human form
3) Whisper into the ear of this thing-that-shakes-in-breezes an offer of dinner or a movie, animating my daughter of detritus into consciousness, you wizard of crumbling foliage, you romeo of loam
4) Leave me out of it, weirdo