The kid gets an invite to be a wizard, but the scholarship falls through. Sudden devaluation in the market for cursed silver that tastes of ocean salt.

The kid gets an invite to be a wizard but on the way is waylaid, stuffed into a box, replaced by a lookalike: A knowledge-seeking golem seeking its creator.

The kid gets an invite but it’s a magic invite, unstable, and it explodes. His blackened wall shadow can still attend, the wall wheeled from class to class.

You’re invited.

Please know that I brought this folding chair to your wedding because the invite didn’t specify if there would be enough seats for everyone and I thought I’d take responsibility for myself, and it’s not because I’m planning a “heel turn” where I smash you in the back during the first dance for breaking up our tag team.

But you know.

If you did want to get the tag team back together, and could let me know in the near term.

That’d be.

Feel like I missed my calling as a patent medicine salesman. My niche would be “entirely lacking in showmanship” and I’d just sell the bottled drug juice with weird herbs in it and leave town, bing-bang-boom, in my rattletrap carriage with hyperbolic claims painted on the flyout wings.

what’s up youtube today we’re doing the around-the-cup challenge where we sip from a cup, then rotate it a little, sip again, then keep going until we’ve sipped from every last bit of the lip and gone full circle and this will help us forget

this will help us forget

but dont forget to like comment subscribe donate patreon venmo kofi gofundme and if you can’t eat the whole cup, if the ceramic really scrapes your mouth out check back next week for our new video okay byeeeee

a zombie apocalypse where every stumbling corpse has a briefcase and a business plan

there’s one person in the party who hides the fact that they took a full-color, trifold brochure… in a corner muttering about impossible rates of return on investment

survivors scattering paper currency as chaff while fleeing a horde

the goal: get to the co-op farm outside of town, eat veggies, maintain a perimeter

Looking to kindle the flame of true love? ‘Tis the season to grab your paramour, don some leather protective bindings and some robes, and enter the darkness beneath the abandoned laundromat where Those Who Shun the Light doze the day away, or sharpen their teeth on paving stones. Many a night of romance begins with the kindling of underground murderfires! Couples, hand in purified hand, cleansing a filth-laden spiritual incursion!

a depraved child of low moral character: There are some things for girls and some things for boys and there should be an equal amount of each to be fair

you (a good child, keen of wit): Whatever you can wrest with your own two hands is yours as your grasp is the only truth in this benighted world

1. Mama Roach – Housekeeping protocol enforcement. Controls “lights out.”
2. Elvin – Geology module installed. Talks to rocks. Doesn’t sleep.
3. Kazock the Incredible – As required by law, an entertainment bot. Knows 3 magic tricks.
4. MO1ST
5. Sgt. Accounts – Armed paperwork management.
6. Lance – Medic. Frequently breaks test tubes w/ its claws.

The abandoned factory with its basement full of unused sparks in dizzying loose mounds.

The inaccessible stretch of beach that the seagulls circle, never landing.

The portal to a wonderland where your childhood toys are in a heap, damp, chewed on… guarded.

I have so many ideas for places to go on first dates, you guys.