A town full of Draculas in two-story suburban castles. A young Dracula stands on their tomb-like porch and stares into the twilight gloom of the woods… the terrifying woods that surround the town.
They say a creature lurks out there. On quiet nights you can hear its call.
“Become my cooooontact on Linnnnnnked…. Innnnnn!”
A recruiter stalks the woods with the bonds of employment and the child Dracula bites their lip in fear of its attention, resolves not to wander.
But.. what if…
1) A hermit crab with a terrible sense of direction
2) A hunk of thistles tugged from the soil
3) One’s own homework, animated
4) Gary, who’s not your REAL dad
5) Chewing gum golem
6) Pope Pius IX
7) A talking “This Way To Exit Wonderland” signpost
8) The number 8
9) A collection of awful smells
10) Any rabid animal: dog, raccoon, bat, huffaloomph, airship spider, electric beffle, hoop sisters, etc.
What if…
What if you had a torch and went down into the mountain’s heart and maybe a locked door stabbed you but you got it open and you finally meet the immortal witch king and he’s on his blood throne surrounded by gold, but his skeleton face sees you come in and he just
sighs
and says ‘oh hey’
There used to be more cowboys but they fell. In a hole. There’s a fence up now, but there’s a gap in it, and if you know where it is you can go look into the hole, crawling on yer belly like a sidewinder and in the distant dimness you can see flashes of hat. Hear a faint jingle of spur.
One time a lasso come up but it went back down and that was it.
Yeehaw.
1) Consider your grudges. Nurse them. Cup them close like tiny flames.
2) Never go outside.
3) Recognize that the world is an interpretation and invention of the mind, so what if your mind went: “It’s not cold.” Could that help?
4) The whole planet’s warming up and will kill us all, and one day you’ll look back on this cold in envy, so… just hang in there.
A dystopian future where purchasing a product from a company with a “friendly” public-facing marketing identity involves agreeing to spend a quiet afternoon hanging out with an AI hologram of their founder who just wants to make sure you’re doing well.
“[Product] workin’ out for you? Fine, fine. You drinking plenty of water? Good, good. You know, there’s few pleasures in the world that can match donning a freshly laundered shawl or lap blanket, am I right?”
A competitive tooth fairy game where every player competes to liberate the most teeth.
Ejeb – Wields a hammer. Wants to build a tooth golem.
Wantteck – Jackhammer. Invested heavily in soft-foods industry: apple sauce magnate.
Yefph – High velocity candy cannon. Just… just hates teeth. Hates ’em.
*putting on a Stan Lee mask made from mud and straw, waving hands in the air mysteriously*
A hero appears… and she shall be called… SPARKJOY!
And she can make bad guys… throw away their stuff! Zap! Their laser gun goes right in the trash!
*a hooting and hollering as the attended faithful begin a shuffling dance around a fire*
I’ve been reading Sean Howe’s book about Marvel Comics this last week and how they were arriving a bit late to every cultural party, chasing the blaxploitation/kung fu/disco dollar and it sparked the above idea about a cargo cult coming up with superheroes. That’s it. That’s the whole bit.
A pub consisting of two buildings, connected via a 2nd floor walkway, broad & filled with tables and chairs.
Technically 2 pubs: The Ratcatchers (East) and Able Ponies (West) run by a feuding father & son. Patrons order drinks at either ground level before seeking open space in the walkway above the street.
Waitstaff compete for orders & tips, engaging in only half-staged duels and dagger-feinting in the disputed area.
From the street, the clomping of dancing on wood overhead.