The Signal: EP122

TheSignalEP122

The Signal: EP122 – When the growth hormones kick in, that’s when the music mix really sprouts up. Nothing fits anymore. This time out, we’ve got French psychorama (if that’s a thing), rockabilly from outer space, punk from the undead, funk from New Orleans and much, much more. If that sounds interesting, click on the image to get to the download link.

The file is posted for a limited time. If you want to know artist/song titles, that information is in the id3 tags of the file itself. Most mp3 playing software can read that info for you. I have a few notes below about the process, should that be of interest.

 

INFOMERCIAL

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Has this ever happened to you?

[a shirtless man waves a stout tree branch in desperation, teeth clenched, surrounded by an encroaching army of over-sized red crabs, their claws drawing blood and rending the fabric of his pants]

Ha ha! Of course it’s happened to you! But what if there were another way?

Try new LOST TIME INCIDENT, a (so far) weekly newsletter from the guy behind this very infomercial: Michael Van Vleet, author of THE SPIRIT LEFT ME and the cult classic ME AND WHAT ARMY!

In your dusty, spam-clogged inbox, you could be receiving a fiction-and-nonsense-filled message to brighten your day. Finally! An email to look forward to! What an age we live in!

And you can go from this– [a crab’s claw shakily approaches the vulnerable throat of the shirtless man, who’s resisting its approach with all his strength] —

To this! [ a shirtless man pours tea from a dainty pot to tea cups on saucers, each one in front of a crab. the crabs are wearing top hats, monocles, or elaborate dresses and tiaras. a crab sips some tea, its pinkie extended— and the camera does a double take! How does a crab have a pinkie? it’s a human ring finger, attached with a corded rope of seaweed, and the camera pans over to the laughing shirtless man for an explanation, his hand bandaged where the finger used to be, and all the crabs rise and fall in nonverbal amusement at how silly their whole struggle was, and what’s a single finger among friends? ]

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The Young Adult Urban Fantasy Game

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One of my coworkers has joined a YA book club for fun. I asked her about the book she was reading at the lunch table, already halfway through the story.

Coworker: It’s a book about magic, set in a world where there’s several Londons.

Me: Stacked on top of each other?

Coworker: They’re essentially in other dimensions. One of the dimensions doesn’t have any magic–

Me: And that’s the one we live in.

Coworker: That’s the one that corresponds most closely to our world, yeah. There’s also a Darkest London that’s been locked off.

Me: I bet by the end of the book, the protagonist is going to have to get in there.

Coworker: Well, sure.

Me: I bet the hero is not confident about their magic, but they’re the only person that can do it.

Coworker: There’s actually TWO main characters who are the only people who can move between worlds.

Me: … I wonder if one of them will betray the other.

Coworker: One of them has ALREADY betrayed the other!

Me: (fist pump) I am GOOD at this game.

infomercial: lost time incident

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Has this ever happened to you?

[A middle aged man looks back and forth between a frying pan and an egg. He seems confused. He suspects the two are related somehow, but… how?]

Well fret no more, because the “lost time incident” newsletter is here to help. For the low low cost of entering your email address into a form, you’ll start getting assorted nonsense from Michael Van Vleet delivered right into your inbox.

[A full grown man in a chicken suit throws egg after egg into the middle of a frying pan. The pan, which is dangerously hot, starts sending clouds of black smoke up as the eggs curl and burn.]

Chicken Man: “I never used to get enough emails before! And now… I get one more email! The zipper on this suit is stuck! Do you think you can–”

And what’s more, if you join today (or on Sunday), you’ll get AT NO EXTRA COST the very first issue delivered to your inbox… and the second issue delivered Sunday night! That’s two for the price of none! This offer is null and void after this weekend!

[The man in the chicken suit has pulled most of the headpiece of the suit over his head, but as it’s attached to the suit’s body, his actual head is stuck somewhere in the chicken suit’s chest. He struggles, but manages a feathery “thumbs up” gesture.]

Chicken Man: “[muffled enthusiastic sounds]”

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